What Is That Smell?

Ladies,
Summer will be here very soon and it is time to prepare ourselves! Most of us get into the habit of slathering on globs of lotion and spritzing ourselves with a scent we believe "compliments" the cucumber melon, lavender, and or whatever scent of  lotion that is conveniently on hand. Summer shows more skin and ladies you know what that means. Get ready, lotion is vital because not only does it make us smell "pretty" it keeps our skin from becoming "ashy". True, the majority of us are not J-Lo and we cannot afford those rediculously expensive bottles of caviar, placenta, or whale sperm that she bathes herself in on a daily basis. We all know that her skin doesn't glow because of Curell. Someone or something had to be sacrificed for that type of result. So, all of us everyday women, we must settle for the over-the-counter bottles of whatever will suffice at our nearest drugstore. I know, I know ladies, our pocketbooks have been stretched tighter than our favorite pair of jeans over the past couple of years.
However, we must find a way to treat our skin but not overwhelm our favorite perfumes. Because frankly, I think too many fragrances create a bouquet of well, confusion. I myself cannot stand the fruit basket array mixed with a little je ne sais quoi. By the way girl, is that a musk or did you forget deodorant this morning?
And what's with all of these new deodorant smells anyway? Cucumber melon, spring breeze, Island tropics along with brown vanilla sugar lotion and maybe a hint of DKNY's "Be Delicious" and a girl could unknowingly make herself into some type of dessert!
I would like to know how in the hell did it come to this? It's a blessing if some of us ladies can put our outfits together in under an hour. However, coordinating lotion, deodorant and perfume is going to become quite the challenge...

Oh Bianca! The horror and to think you are one of those fruit parfaits. There I said it, I think you stink!

    -Scarlette